THE COORDINATES OF THE TOOTH FAIRY'S CASTLE
                    (C)1993 Alan M. Schwartz

Environmental Protection Agency regulations levy devastating 
fines against public utilities and even imprisonment for their 
officials who allow parts-per-billion taint of public water 
supplies with trihalomethanes, which are official carcinogens 
(and abundantly pan-global natural products).  How unlucky the 
people of Wisconsin were in April 1993, perching upon their 
toilets as their bowels liquefied with cryptococcus diarrhea and 
mourning the death of their infants, that there are no Federal 
penalties for filling water mains with dilute cow manure after 
under-chlorinating said fecal soup to assiduously avoid the 
regulatory pillage of the aforesaid official displeasure.  

After a century of progress in public health we are now being 
protected to death, for our own good, by totemic Luddites.  They 
embrace Gaia with a child's innocent love, expecting nothing in 
return.  They get it.  Bacteria pursue their own thermodynamic 
agenda.  Would that Wisconsin water be as sterile as 
Environmentalist rhetoric - the avowed antithesis of the concept 
of progress.  What do they care, they do not live there!

Like bizarre Christians in overheated lands scourging their flesh 
and trailing their blood each Easter, Environmentalists hope to 
bring about the Millennium by correct thought, resolute faith and 
weird personal sacrifice while vehemently excoriating the rest of 
us who pursue mathematics, science and engineering.  Their 
fanatic obsession with rebuffing hygienic plumbing and waste 
incineration in favor of outhouses and composting serves to 
progressively reduce cornucopian First World society to the 
purity of Third World privation.  From whom shall we beg alms and 
Lomotil when we are all squat in the mud?

Environmentalism is that philosophy in direct contradiction to 
the concept of productivity.  Tree huggers would destroy the 
American lumber industry and the US housing industry with it to 
putatively save the spotted owl.  I admit a modest fondness for 
the surreality of owl pellets, the regurgitated remains of fur 
and bones of owl-devoured prey.  They do not justify spurning a 
nation of 270,000,000 people.  Some of these discarded folk, the 
important ones, are capable of escaping this planet in a deadly 
serious pursuit of racial phylogenesis.  Will Environmentalists 
save the swamp/river/Earth for future generations to enjoy in an 
unspoiled state, much as Bangladeshis or Ethiopians eschew 
technology and carnivory to enjoy dying, early and often, but 
without silicone in their breasts?  Wishing will make it so.

Throughout history we view the rise and fall of civilizations.  
Within a lifetime we view the like rise and fall of corporations.  
When competent founders peer over their shoulders at ruin and so 
provoked manage to raise themselves up from the muck to found a 
dynasty, this is called "good luck."  When their posterity at 
least maintains the prosperity so dearly won, this is called "the 
status quo."  When incompetent and effete descendants arise to 
set things right, apologizing for past indiscretions and paying 
damages claimed by those who beg rather than labor, "bad luck" 
arises as lean and hungry barbarian hordes soon surmount the 
ramparts to open bellies instead of interoffice memoranda.

One of the largest corporations of this planet, IBM, recently 
purchased the Chief Executive Officer of RJR Nabisco, a tobacco 
products and cookie pusher, to lead it out of the single greatest 
annual financial loss in the history of business.  IBM is being 
pounded into the dirt by Microsoft, headed by a 1960's IBM 
contractor and Harvard dropout named William Gates.  Gates has 
one socially discredited talent of which IBM management is 
gratefully bereft:  He can program a microcomputer.  IBM staggers 
under Gates' onslaught of competent creation, manufacture, and 
marketing.  IBM suffers "bad luck," firing tens of thousands of 
its most troublesome (competent) employees as it hemorrhages.

The coordinates of the Tooth Fairy's Castle appear throughout 
history, whether shouted by unkempt zealots or religious minions 
waving their Bibles.  God's value of pi, the ratio of a Euclidian 
circle's circumference to its diameter, is stated in I Kings vii 
23, and again in 2 Chronicles iv, 2:  "...ten cubits from brim to 
brim... and a line of thirty cubits did compass it around."  
God's pi is equal to 3.  Pi was calculated to 500,000 decimal 
places in 1967 using Stormer's formula:  

     pi = 24[arctan(1/8)] + 8[arctan(1/57)] + 4[arctan(1/239)]

Your airplane may be built with God's pi to deliver you into the 
kingdom of heaven.  Your airplane may be built with vulgate pi, 
3.141592653..., and you will land safely.  Your choice is clear:  
Apotheosis and death or apostasy and prosperity.

Tooth Fairy Castles float in the air, everywhere.  Any society 
moving in will soon discover that they have, each and every one
of them, no floors.