ASK DR. SCHUND
                    (C)1996 Alan M. Schwartz

Dr. Schund, how will the Human Genome Project alter the course of 
humanity?

The Human Genome Project will map the entire molecular biological 
basis of human heredity - the DNA nucleotide sequence of Homo 
sapiens - at increasingly finer scales of resolution, ultimately 
to base-by-base perfection.  Much of this work is contracted by 
private corporations.  They will patent all proprietary uses of 
the knowledge, attempt to recoup investment, and pursue profit.  
Parameterized discounted cash flow/return on investment analysis 
of corporate assets demands it.

Dr. Schund projects the first application of this database, the 
wellspring of human existence, will occur in penal institutions.  
Moralists stylishly protest capital punishment while cowering 
behind high walls topped with broken glass and razor wire.  They 
clash with zero-recidivism advocates and proponents of felons' 
medical disassembly for spare parts.  The thousands of heinous 
people cherished within Death Rows throughout this great nation 
instead will have their genetic user licenses annulled by the 
State, under rights granted by the patent holders.  Who could 
object to revocation for abuse of genome?

Next, we will end the Third World population explosion.  
Unauthorized reproduction of patented property is unlawful.  
Penalties include recovered compensatory damages and treble 
punitive damages, plus confiscation.  No pirated copies of the 
human genome will be tolerated!  If viewing thousands of cheap 
Rolex watch knockoffs being crushed under a steamroller is your 
idea of a good time, imagine the scene repeated with a mile-long 
carpet of infants.  Birth defects will be rendered obsolescent, 
being pursued not only for patent violation but also for fraud.  
This is a marvelous opportunity to get in on the ground floor of 
the distributed marketing of human reproduction licensing 
franchises - permission and prosecution both!

The United States' Rust Belt, abandoned manufacturing 
infrastructure throughout the northeastern states, will be 
revitalized.  With the entire human genome patented there will be 
strong incentive to make continuous improvements in the property 
to keep patent protection current.  Heavy industry returns 
forging flesh instead of steel!  Marc Andreesen transformed a 
Unix-PC command and graphic translation protocol (Mosaic, then 
Netscape) into a $trillion/year industry with uncountable 
spinoffs.  Custom design and manufacture of modified humans will 
be much bigger.  Imagine the demand for a standardized four-foot 
high, genderless, semi-intelligent variation suitable for 
anything from coal mining to serving in political office.  
Imagine what could be done with blonde hair and breasts.

There is no reason for an automobile to look like a horse buggy.  
There is no reason for function human tissue or intelligence to 
look like a human.  (Given our Inner Cities, we already know 
there is no advantage in having dysfunctional intellectual 
aberration look human.)  A problem with automation is that the 
equipment must be serviced because it wears and does not heal.  
Silicon and software do not easily interpret visual input.  A 
little biological tinkering would produce self-repairing 
androidal equipment with built-in sensory capability.  Behavioral 
compliance will be assured:  Good action will be rewarded with 
pure pleasure:  born to spot weld, and loving it!

"Corporate Culture" assumes a new coat of many colors.  Human 
Resources (Personnel) shoulders the great challenge.  It winnows 
a vast field of job candidates proffered by headhunters, and the 
scum who wander in off the street, distinguishes the mercurial 
grain from the drinking buddy chaff - and hires the latter.  The 
MBA philosophy is one of minimum perceived risk, maximum 
projected gain, sending out your resume before your best efforts 
puncture the local balloon, and having a higher golf handicap 
than your boss.  Progress is acquired from folks working in their 
garages who are then turned in to the EPA, said nuisances being 
economically expunged by jackbooted conservators of the State.

Why must industry chance random human breeding and the vagaries 
of sodomy and paddling in prep schools to create its yellow tie-
wearing elite?  It would be ever so much better to design and 
build from the ground up to create the Pure Company Man who eats, 
breaths and lives sycophancy,  (Not to mention (but I will) the 
Pure Company Woman who wears short skirts, garters and hose; and 
appreciates the occasional jelly bean accidentally dropped into 
her blouse pocket.)  Low-level employees would be elaborated to 
express genius and manifest no expectations of advancement.

The Human Genome Project may end disease, double lifespan... and 
speed metamorphosis to our final evolutionary destiny.  The risks 
are too great and the immediate paybacks are too small.  Good 
businessmen go for the sure thing.