DEATH BY SOYBEAN 
                    (C)1999 Alan M. Schwartz

From http://www.tofuji.com/:  "Tofuji's Tofu turkey consists of 
12 pounds of fresh Tofu molded into the form of a turkey and then 
freeze dried so that it will last through the holidays.  When you 
receive the 'turkey,' simply place it in our patented rehydration 
bag and, in less than 12 hours, the tofu comes back to life."  
They went and food processed Boris Karloff!  

The only Tofuji US patent is a portable electronics fastener, 
US5,109,570.  Of 82 Japanese patents to one or another Tofuji, we 
have JP10038234A "Thermal Decomposition and Incinerator Unit."  
The only Terran patent literature tofu bag is "Kikkoman tofu bag" 
in US4,936,456 about bags for medical device sterilization.  
Liars.

"Identification of soybean dust as an epidemic asthma agent in 
urban areas by molecular marker and RAST analysis of aerosols," 
J. Allergy Clin. Immunol. 88(1) 124 (1991).

Soy products are a multi-billion dollar industrial complex.  
According to the 27 October 1995 Wall Street Journal Archer 
Daniel Midlands, the world's major soybean processor, dropped 
$4.7 million for advertising on "Meet The Press" and $4.3 million 
on "Face The Nation."  The mind boggles.  Are our Beltway venal 
idiots also tofu wiener vegetarians?  (Put none too gently, tofu 
is soybean milk coagulated with plaster of Paris, though Epsom 
salts will do in a pinch.)

A vegetarian diet rich in soy products compromises iron status in 
students, J. Nutr. 125 212 (1995).  The incidences of anemia and 
iron deficiency were 30% and 50% in female vegetarians, more than 
twice the percentages in omnivores.  Phytic acid grabs divalent 
transition metals like iron and zinc against intestinal 
absorption.  "Nutritional status and phytate: calcium:zinc 
dietary molar ratios of lacto-ovo-vegetarian Trappist monks: 10 
years later" J. Am. Diet. Assoc. (88) 1562 (1988).  Bummer.

Soybeans pack protease inhibitors and lectins (diminished by 
cooking).  Protease inhibitors induce pancreatic pathologies, 
lectins bind to intestinal epithelial cells' glycoprotein 
receptors to disrupt nutrient absorption.  Heat-stable 
antinutrients include goitrogens, tannins, phytate, saponins, 
flatus-empowering oligosaccharides, and xenocryptophytoestrogens 
daidzein, genistein, and glycitein.  "Implications of 
antinutritional components in soybean foods," Crit. Rev. Food. 
Sci. Nutr. 34(1) 31 (1994).  Double bummer.

If you are hot to sell countless lower class fools overpriced 
garbage you first seduce esteemed middle and upper classes by 
screaming "CANCER!  HEART ATTACK!  FAT TUMMY!" and shoot for a 
merit-based outcome.  Soy products are counterfeited to echo real 
food - soy milk, soy baby formula, soy yogurt, soy ice cream, soy 
cheese, soy flour for baking, and textured soy protein as (high 
protein!) meat substitutes: low-fat, no cholesterol health foods 
hawked to upscale aging consumers paranoid about appalling 
Intensive Care deaths.  What cannot be swallowed by educated 
people is gobbled up by crazed teenagers infatuated with wealthy 
Asian gurus babbling love (alms giving) and high colonic 
cleansing.  Do herbivores need clever brains to successfully 
sneak up on leaves?

Soy protein isolate remains after lipids are removed via 
pulverization and solvent extraction of soybeans to recover oil.  
The defatted meal is solubilized with aqueous alkali to separate 
fibrous matter, filtered, and protein precipitated with an acid 
wash (expelling carbohydrates).  Resulting curds are neutralized 
with alkali and spray dried.  Soy isolate is margarine industry 
industrial waste.  Textured vegetable protein is high-temperature 
denatured and extruded soy protein isolate.  Note that "Hamburger 
Helper" costs more weight for weight than good hamburger.

What about true believers' counter-arguments?  "Tofu is made from 
soybeans which are the fattiest and most yin of all beans.  To 
make tofu soybeans are cooked up with three to four times their 
volume of water for two or three hours until they mush.  Squeezed 
through cheesecloth to retain fibrous elements, the more yin 
fleshy part being squeezed out...  Tofu has an expanding, 
dissipating, and ballooning effect in the intestines.  Being more 
yin and containing a lot of protein it is a great growth promoter 
for cancer cells."  Place your bets, take your chances.

Soy products are a dietary staple in the Far East, one of very 
few potentially abundant sources of protein in that traditionally 
overpopulated badly farmed real estate.  We all know how tall and 
brawny Asians physically intimidated European adventurers and all 
Westerners since.  I do R&D in British Columbia where 45 kg 5-
foot tall Oriental immigrant parents are outputting 85 kg 6-foot 
plus hockey playing kids - who eat meat:  McDonalds, the Colonel, 
hot dogs (meat and meat byproducts), and steak.  The University 
of Victoria Commons cafeteria panders to little White boys and 
girls with Chicken Fried Tofu and (drum roll, June 1999 dinner 
entree) Cajun Tofu.  I put the Tofuji URL in their suggestion 
box, turkey for the turkeys.  Is anybody up for a tofu haggis?